He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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