At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
