Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
