This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
