So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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