i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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