your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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