i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
