just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
