you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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