guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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