Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
