I hope mine doesn't look like that
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
