did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize