I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
did i walk over a car last night?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
