You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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