well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
