im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
