He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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