I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
