i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
