Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize