if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
