he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
