At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
