my sisters under your porch take her home
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
