i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
