I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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