i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize