More tranny stories later!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
