I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
