Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize