At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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