no, he came in my armpit
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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