6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
