he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize