the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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