Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
