I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
