i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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