Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She's the barista slut.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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