I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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