soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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