In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize