Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
