You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
