Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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