Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
