Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
