At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
