Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize