People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
