there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
