Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
