i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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