roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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