Screwed.edu
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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