i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
