i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
