I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
