btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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