Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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