Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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