Ambien. No doubt about it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
