He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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