She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
